The Lion’s Guide to Dating: Dating after Divorce

Six months ago sitting I was on my couch feeling lonely and like any normal high functioning adult, I Googled, “how to cure loneliness.” It yielded some interesting results, amongst them was to get out there and make new friends. One of the suggested methods of doing this was dating sites where you sign up and meet people based on common interests. Another suggestion was Tinder. I got married when I was 20 and was married for eleven years. Suffice to say I didn’t have too much experience in this realm. Let’s just say it was a very interesting experience. The people you meet on Tinder aren’t exactly the type you want to bring home to the family, nor the role models you’re seeking for your children. Admittedly, I had to delete the app after about six hours because I’m pretty sure it gave my phone an STD – something it’s still recovering from today.

This experience catapulted me into the world of app dating. It’s much like the jungle where the top of the food chain isn’t necessarily the smartest but the simply the loudest. The analogy continues; in the jungle a predator scopes the field before selecting its prey and even then, will abandon its initial choice if an easier option avails itself – the initial choice is tossed to the wayside in favour of an easier, more attainable selection. You may be thinking ‘what’s your problem with this? A lion’s gotta eat and here he’s getting fed’. And you’re right – for the here and now. The problem is that in order to satisfy his appetite, the lion must set out every time on this laborious expedition. It’s a process that begins no sooner than the sense of satiety dissipates and the pangs of hunger resurface. It is a game played out to fulfill a short term goal.

If we search for life partners and friends in the same lion like manner, we are left constantly on the hunt. To achieve long term results, we need to adjust our methods . Now many are not going to like what I have to say next because it involves leaving our houses. It means peeling ourselves off our couches and actually meeting people face to face.

But much more than that, it involves opening ourselves up to the chance for love but also the risk of rejection. Risks are very limited from the comfort of our phones. It takes much more strength and courage to walk head-on into the jungle and claim what’s yours. It’s scarier and danger lurks everywhere. While the lion may be hunting for short term gain, he risks his life every time for it. He puts himself out there, puts himself in harms way everyday for the greater prize.

Dating is the ultimate paradox in so many ways – love/hate, pain/joy etc. We must disregard our inner lion’s desire for short term satisfaction in the form of love and affection. Simultaneously, we must channel our inner lion by risking ourselves and our hearts every single time we leave the house. As the adage goes – the greater the risk, the greater the reward.


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