The second mouse gets the cheese

I recently joined a Toastmasters class and was told the first speech I would have to give would be about my life’s passion. My first thought was ‘is sleep a passion’? I kept thinking about it but couldn’t come up with anything more than cheese and donuts.

So naturally, in an effort to find my true inner self, I turned to the one who knows me best and is always able to finish my thoughts…Google. Turns out googling life’s passions yields you some pretty unsavoury results, especially at 8am sitting in a very public, Wi-Fi enabled Starbucks.

After going past the first few pages and strategically shifting my iPad away from passerby viewing, I got some pretty interesting results. The first suggestion was to slow down, breathe, meditate, do yoga. I’m a divorced mom of four kids-life doesn’t slow down and the only flipping I’m doing is the bird to a very select group of Individuals in my life. But as I continued down the list, there were a few suggestions of merit. Writing, having fun, pushing past fear, cultivating confidence, finding your own uniqueness and changing your story.

I got married very young and was smart enough to get divorced equally young to be able to start over. The last couple of years my life has been filled with tremendous self introspection and really putting myself first. I’ve gone back to school in an effort to build a better future for my children and I and to provide my children with a role model of strength and just general badass-ness.

There’s this quote circulating the Internet about Kim Kardashian’s husband, Kanye West, a notorious narcissist. It says I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye. Now self indulgent narcissism aside, perhaps he’s on to something here. He believes in himself to a fault and is willing to stand up to the world and Twitter, to tell them so. Imagine if we all had that kind of confidence and sense of self? I mean a social conscience would be necessary to avoid a society of egotists.

But think about it-imagine waking up every morning and believing that you and your talents are a gift to the world.  At the risk of sounding like an egocentric pop star, I’d say that for right now, my life’s passion is me. Discovering who I am not just as an ex -wife and a mother but as an individual. Investing time and effort into taking care of myself and getting to know myself really well.

After a year of intensive therapy, I’ve discovered elements of myself that I never knew of before. Turns out I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I was, and I’m personable and not just because I’ll talk to anyone or even at times anything but because I’m really able to relate to people. Also, turns out, I really love cheese. Like really really love it-like if I was given the choice between a husband and a lifetime supply of cheese, I’d really have to give that some serious thought.

I’m passionate about discovering who I am as I enter this new stage of my life, discovering my strengths and talents, discovering what I’m capable of and just what I can do. My passion is me, myself and cheese.

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